Bisonalities Again


A quarterly Newsletter dedicated to the Alumni of Waterford and Fort LeBoeuf High Schools
January 2015 ----------------------------------------------- Winter Issue ------------------------ Volume 16 - Number 2

Welcome to the Bisonalities, Again, a newsletter dedicated to the alumni (students, teachers, and administrators) of Waterford and Fort LeBoeuf High Schools. This newsletter will be issued quarterly. New issues will be posted for viewing on the Web site on, or about January 1, April 1, July 1, and October 1.

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Bisonalities Blog

The winds and rain have really cut into my fishing. I usually get out fishing in the boat 120-125 days a year. This year I only got out 48 times.

Of course, part of that was because I tried to cut off my pinky finger on my right hand and had to have reconstructive surgery to save it. Then in July I came down with pneumonia. That took better than two weeks to get over enough to get back out fishing.

So far this winter has been fairly mild as far as temperatures go. We are averaging a couple degrees above our normal temperatures, for November and December, but the winds and rain still continue.

I would like to wish all of you a very Happy, Healthy New Year!

This is the last issue of the Bisonalities Again Newsletter. After 16 years and 61 issues I am shutting down publication. The web site, will continue to be kept up to date.

I hope you have enjoyed the many stories that I have published.

Take care and be safe!
Bob Catlin - FLBHS Class of 1956

Puns for Educated Minds

1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye-doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3. She was only a whisky-maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber-band pistol was confiscated from an algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
9. A hole has been found in the nudist-camp wall. The police are looking into it.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'
13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
17. A backward poet writes inverse.
18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.
21. A vulture carrying two dead raccoons boards an airplane. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'
22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, 'Dam!'
23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says, 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'
25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root-canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
26. Then there was the person who sent ten puns to friends with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

Days of Olde
by Elizabeth Faulhaber Demmery-Potter

Funny thing, how some memories come flooding back, of Day's of Olde...

I volunteered to sew some special garments for an upcoming event at church, and of course sitting at the machine, memories of my Dear Mother!

Mom sewed for five children and of course herself ... on an old Treadle Singer that she gifted Robert Catlin's Mother, Ruby, years later! I pumped that old machine as a child, loved seeing 'The Action' ... ha-ha (Mother used to tease me that I sewed before I walked!). I put tablet paper under the pressure foot and made holes! LOL

We were the only farm for years on what is now Dunn Valley Road. It used to be called Twitchell Road (named after the man that owned it 100+ years ago.). Now sadly there is a Trailer Park on my Dad's favorite hay field!) Time marches on, changes constantly as we all know!

Well, back to my story here!

In those days, "We made do", used what was available, and ate what we grew, plants and animals alike!

Once a month or so, all the neighbors would gather at one another neighbor's home, the Host would provide a nice Lunch for all! Such a treat for many! Probably the only time they got to "Eat Out" ... Lots of laughter, stories, no phone in those days. The only alternative was to catch up with the goings on on Saturdays in Waterford, at Patchen's Hardware to pay the electric bill, or Irwin & Cross for groceries, or Papa Doud's Barber Shop for a man's haircut, or Ruby's Beauty Shop for a fuzzy perm! (Remember those scary curlers on electric cords?) I would be frozen in fear when I saw them, that I might ever be faced with such torture!

Those gatherings of neighbors were very important needless to say!

Well, it was my parent's time to be hosts. Mom was in a dither, no need to worry about her house as it was always immaculate, in all kinds of weather, horrendous mud in springtime, snow all winter, coal dust from stoves; the list is endless!

I often wondered if she slept as our home was always "Company Ready"... spotless with something fresh baked (If only I could be like Mom!).

Big question; what to serve? I suggested "Sloppy Joes" as we called them then. Mom asked me if I would make them! Wow!!! What an honor for a pre teen! Of course, I was a nervous wreck but started early the morning of the big event. Browning the ground beef, more than likely one of the cattle Dad had slaughtered. We had so many apple trees, so dessert would be fresh baked apple pie! More than likely, a lemon meringue too, Mom was busy with her pie baking. Dad promised to bring home 'Bakery Buns' after working at Bucyrus-Erie, not those nasty commercial buns that I still do not care to eat!

I remember I kept adding 'stuff'... like carrots, onions of course, chopped so fine, after cooking, you could not find a trace, plus a host of other ingredients that I no longer recall. After all, I'm talking about 65 years ago.

Final word is that Mother trusted me making part of her menu.

All those wonderful old folks are gone now, Catlins, Hakkarianians, Markhams, Albrights, Scotts, Mays Burbles, Baughmans, Malinowskis, many more that I cannot name just now, but needless to say, my cooking turned out wonderful, no one was the 'wiser' of carrots and such in those delicious sandwiches. Everyone praised my parent's for such good food.

All those wonderful neighbor's are in their graves now, but I Praise God that they were in my life! Such kindness I remember!

Mrs. May's would call me in her wonderful kitchen while I was walking home from Bagdad School, offer me a piece of warm corn bread slathered with butter!

Eleanore Lane was our wonderful teacher, barely older than some of her students. Such a beautiful young lady faced with 1st thru 8th Grades!

Frank Scott was our mail carrier... Always had a story, never knew when the mail would arrive due to weather conditions, a flat tire, someone's cows out of their pasture ... whatever!

Mrs. Carberry 'hired' me to plant onion sets one spring! Probably paid me 25 for a hard days work!

Arnold Hakkarainian with his wonderful milk cows... always a pleasure to see them make their way up the lane to the barn for evening milking.

Scott's horses that frightened me while walking to school! We walked probably a mile and a half. Kids now do not walk a city block and a half to get to school.

I do believe that I and my classmates were born at the perfect time in history! We walked, found our own pleasures; if only building a sail boat that refused to float; skis that wouldn't go down a hill; failed cookies or cakes; played card and board games; the list is endless of how we spent our childhood!

We were taught values, morals, manners, saw man walk on the moon, so many important events in the past 3/4 of a Century ... the list is endless!

Better get back and make that electric sewing machine hum, finish a gift. I still believe something home made is from the heart... not from Wal-Mart! IMHO!

May God Bless us Everyone!


1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
5. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
6. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
7. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
8. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
9. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.
10. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
11. Nyquil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
12. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
13. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
14. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
15. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
16. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!
17. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
18. Procrastinate Now!
19. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
20. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
21. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
22. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
23. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
24. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
25. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
26. Ham and eggs ... A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
27. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
28. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson. 29. I smile because I don't know what the heck is going on.

Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends! Life is too short and friends are too few!

This is the final issue!

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